Updated: Jul 24, 2019
Now that you've opened this link, let me be clear: "Toxic Shit Everyone Does" is a total generalization and completely unfair. But hang with me for a sec. Consider this example: I don't know shit about writing blogs. The proof? I'm up at night on Pinterest, pinning posts like "How to Write the Perfect Blog" and "Blogging for Beginners." FUCK! I was doing it—that toxic shit— like, to myself! Grab the remote and hit pause. Pay attention!
1. Negative Self Talk
Seriously, WTF is this about? We can give other people compliments without hesitation. "What an awesome bag!" And we can compare ourselves to every person we see. "Dude, did you see her ass? I would kill to have an ass like that." Or, “Rani at work is crushing it—I can't compete.” Or some favs: "I'm too skinny/too fat/too old/too young/too tall/too short/too...." You get the picture. I'm giving us all some homework. I said, "us all." That includes me. Every time I catch myself dissing myself, I swear I'm going to give myself a compliment ASAP. Hear me saying this out loud: "I'm killing this tarot and energy healing game."
2. Shitty Boundaries
Boundaries are EVERYTHING, but somehow they have become a dirty word. Every single time you say "yes" to something that you don't really want to do, you lose power. Because that boundary really isn't a boundary. Or it's a pretend boundary. So we cave. We do this because we've been taught from a young age to "be nice." The problem with the be-nice deal is that we aren’t being nice to ourselves. Anytime you have a gross feeling in your stomach when you say "yes," just change your mind and say "no." It's really difficult at first, but after awhile, it's life changing.
3. Taking Things Personally
This is a BIGGY, because it's hard not to star in your own reality show. Ever have that friend who's convinced that you're ignoring them, but for real, you are just swamped, and you're so busy keeping the bocce ball in the air that you really can't drop it right this sec and meet them for a cauliflower pizza. DO NOT BE THAT PERSON. People have lives. Hectic, no-time-to-sit-my-ass-down ones. It's not always about you. Even that social media post is not about you. But if it is, that leads us right into number 4.
4. Stay Away from Low Vibrating People
I won't call anyone "toxic". But I will observe that if anyone is saying "you, you, you" a lot, they might need someone to hold a mirror up to them. Generally speaking, "you, you, you" means "me, me, me." Let's work on ourselves before pointing fingers. If this is you—and let’s be honest, we have ALL been the one saying you do this, you do that, you should, you shouldn't, you, you, you—chill for a sec and take a good look at what the other person is triggering. Break that shit open and work on it! Raise your own vibrations.